When I first saw that the university was looking for student bloggers, I thought to myself, yeah I could do that! I have loads to say. So much so, that I could write a new blog on a daily basis. So I entered a sample blog for consideration, and I was oh so proud of myself for what I had written and how clever I was for doing it.
Then after a little bit of waiting I received the news: I was to be selected as a student blogger for the Faculty of Science and Technology (FST).
And then, just like that, all these clever words that I had to say just vanished from my mind, and I found myself with the task of writing a new blog, with absolutely nothing to say. A blog that would be read by other students. And then I thought, blimey! Would anyone actually care about what I have to say, about my experiences at uni? Or have I just set myself up to look an idiot in a public forum?
I couldn’t exactly understand where all this new-found pessimism had come from. I like to think that I am a ‘glass is half full’ person, but as the semester has gone on, I’ve been feeling more and more isolated and pessimistic, and less and less inclined to write about it.
I must sound like a right laugh, as you read this you must be thinking, ‘Who is this miserable guy?’ And If I’m honest, I wouldn’t blame you. Maybe it’s the workload getting to me, or maybe it’s the travelling I have to do. Or maybe it’s because I am an old man; I’m like 32, and that’s well old, apparently.
And if I am honest there have been times when I have been disappointed with my degree and I have considered changing courses, or even leaving altogether.
So the question remains why am I writing all this down for you to read? Why don’t I just post it as a vague Facebook status (as much as I like having people who I spoke to once at a party telling me that ‘I hope you’re OK, hun’)?
I got to thinking that if have been feeling this way, then maybe there are others in the same boat. Maybe you’re reading this and feeling the same way. If you are then let me say this. DON’T GIVE UP! And DON’T STOP BELIEVING!!
Since I joined uni back in September 2013, I have found it to be an experience which takes you on an emotional rollercoaster; you can go from feeling absolutely fantastic to hitting rock bottom, all in the same tutorial. It’s a strange place to be. I think that a pressure exists for you to be having fun. Anyone who’s been to university will tell you the same kind of stories about the fun they had, all the amazing things they achieved, all the adventures they had. But very few tell you about their bad experiences, and that the isolation, the pressure that rests on your shoulders to achieve is mainly self-inflicted.
It reminds me of when people talk about the 1960s. The decade of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, free love and peace on earth, but very few talk about the negatives of that decade because if they did, it wouldn’t be special any more. To me university is very special and I don’t like to think of it as a bad experience, which again brings that pressure that it must be great. So if I am not enjoying it, there must be something wrong with me.
But I think its fair to say that these feelings are perfectly normal. And I think that more people than are willing to admit it share them at some point.
So if you are feeling this way, you’re not alone. And if you need to, then talk to somebody about it. Go to your personal tutor or the wellbeing service at Student Service
s. Or, if all else fails, you could just write a blog…